The past few months have had me feeling like a missing person. While walking to the bus stop I stumbled right into a time portal and right now I am at the end or still inside it dreaming - I don't know. It feels like I've been working on a million things and nothing at the same time. I have been busy, but not with things I'd like to be doing. I have had a few exciting things peppered in there at certain points but overall the 9 to 5 life consumes me.
The day after the MTV show, my dog died. A week after that my girlfriend and I chanced upon a place in Darlinghurst and moved out. Right now I am still settling into my job and my new place. Staying up late destroys me. I spend my days behind a desk or on a train. I am a civilian. I now have restrictions and boundaries like everyone else. Now I understand what it is like to never have the time to do what you want. The nights aren't mine anymore. I'm living on someone else's time. As I pick up pencils and put them down again, I can hear faint whispers of people telling me "I told you so."
This is where I have been.
Products and possessions aren't adequate rewards for participating in the grind, a new pair of jeans won't solve my problem, I still haven't worn most the clothes I bought in Tokyo last year. What I need is more time. But life is too expensive not to work. I don't know how this ends.
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