Hostages

I get petrified of getting myself into slumps of repetion and routine. Some people love routine but I find it terrifying to do the same thing over and over. I have a piece of toast at arouind 7:10am every morning. I step foot on the platforms at Town Hall station at 6pm every night.

I was in a slump when I was at Ezydvd but at least the irregular work cycle meant I could juggle different things during the week and get an entire day off here and there to work on some projects. My current full time job is good. I earn more money - which in turn is paying for my rent - but it comes at the cost of my creative freedom.

It has never taken this long to get creative projects off the ground, ever. I am navigating through an asteroid belt of committments and things just clash. The here-and-now takes priority, my art is left without momentum, directionless, floating through space. Work committments are relentless and numerous.

I haven't blogged like this in a long time and it is strange to start again after such a long absence but I need a way to record what is going on. I feel out of touch with what I've been doing, I can't remember anything I've done, thoughts and memories just slip away or get shuffled along to make room for priorities.

My life is out of control. In my dissatisfied state I feel the need to take drastic actions to remedy this. I feel claustrophobic. The weekends don't give enough time to do work - they barely give enough time to sleep.

I know I need to restart my momentum, I've known this for the past two years. There must be something that I can do about it.