I just kind ofthought of all my concerns - big or small - everything - really really intensly all at once and it felt like something burst or popped in my brain.

I didn't ever really know what my life would be like after studying. I've spent my whole life studying up until now and I stil have never quite pictured what it would be like. I've been out for two years and a lot has happened. So many experiences have been crammed into that small space of time. I wonder if life will be moving at this pace forever? When do things start to slow down?

Everything is on my mind right now. Maybe this wasn't the best time to go on holiday. Everything's been shaken up so much in the past two years, now it seems that since things have settled for a bit all these issues are slowly rising to the surface.

I don't know if I think fast or as witty as other people. I'm finding little networks and universes and groups of people. Some who know each other and some who don't. It seems that social networks or groups or scenes seem to have similar outlooks on things. On the same 'level'. They 'get' certain things. Like how to be in art shows, succesffully fill out grant applications, invest in property, play the stock market etc.

I wonder when I'm finally gonna burn out. I think I started this art thing too soon.

I am already planning a long hiatus and a comeback in my 30s.

I feel myself getting significantly older. I feel it inside that everything has aged. I look different. I feel different. Layers and layers upon memories in my brain building up.